Say Yes, Please?
by Sterwolf59
Summary: Ryan screwed up bad. Can he fix it? -squeal to "I Didn't Know" in Glee because there is no Celtic Thunder catagory- rated M for language and sexual situations
1. Part 1

(Yeah! More Irish accents. This Part is from Ryan's point of view)

The city of New York bustled under me' finger tips as I gripped onto the railing of our hotel balcony. The snow drifted down from heaven and covered the world below sending happiness through all of us as we realized christmas was tomorrow.  
>"Gra'im thu'.(I love ye')." The gaelic slip through Neil's lips sweetly as he wrapped his arms around me' arm and resting his head on me' shoulder."Dinner's ready." I smiled down at the love of me' life.<br>"I love ye' more" I stared into his eyes and wished I could explain what a beautiful color of brown they eyes were almost a liquid gold color but sweeter then chocolate and more alive then a tree. I lightly placed a kiss te' the top of his head and laced me' hand through his,and I pulled him out of the cold, snowy New York night and into the warmth of the nice suite Neil, Emmett and I were sharing. Emmett was lounging on the large couch by himself as Keith and Damian secured the loveseat to themselves. I'm not really sure how George came across this amazing hotel but we managed te' get two suites with four beds, now considering there are six of us ye' would think it would be a problem but it really wasn't. See about half-a-year ago Damian had a terrible fall in LA which made Keith realize that they should be together, and I was involved with Neil so both couples only needed one bed. Tonight was George's night te' cook dinner for all of us so George was working dilligently in the kitchen. Emmett was pouting down at his phone.  
>"What's wrong, Emmey-whemmy, Cam-Cam not text ye' back yet?" I asked as he pulled his eyes up from his screen. I had felt proud of the fact I came up with nicknames for Emmett and his old friend Cameron, which they both say their not together, but I see the truth.<br>"Po'g mo tho'in! (Kiss me' ass!)" Emmett growled at me as I was right, like usual.  
>"Emmett!" My serious tone shocked Emmett's eyebrows to go up and pulled Keith and Damian from their make-out session "Don't tell me what ye' want Cameron te' do te' ye'!" Emmett's face bleed bright red as Neil, Damian,and Keith laughed deeply. Emmett reached behind him and chucked the pillow he was laying on at me. I caught it with ease and tossed te' the other side of the couch as I pulled Neil te' the dining room. We all took our spots around the table, Neil sitting next to me as Damian sat next to Keith, both Emmett and George taking each an end of their own. As I looked over the amazing looking food before me george cleared his throat.<br>"Hey guys." He waited till he had all of our attentions. "We've had an interesting year with what happened in LA, Ryan's loss, and with Emmett's denial." Emmett's face got red with anger as George was more subtle with his joke then I was. ",but I think we can agree we made it here together. So merry christmas!" George raise his glass and we all raised ours with loud and gleeful 'CHEERS!'. Everybody had red wine in their glass except for me. It was hard to be a recovering alcholic especially in moments like this, Neil was always supportive though and always would asked if I wanted a little bit, but seeing his beautifull eyes always made me feel a little guilty if I said yes, and on the rare occasion I actual drank Neil was never afraid to tell me I had enough. It was hillarious, however, when in an all-wine toast me' cup was filled with eggnog(non-alcholic obviously). We ate our meal with funny stories and laughter, that was never forced or faked nothing but good feeling circled us and kept us in good spirits. It was moments like this that made me not miss home, because this was all me' family who actualy cared.  
>"Hey Ryan there's only a little bit left do you want it?" Emmett poked his head out of the kitchen with bottle of wine in his hand.<br>"ummmm..." I hesitated and looked to Neil.  
>"It was really good." Neil smiled and nodded. I smiled back.<br>"Sure." Emmett walked back into the dining room and handed me a wine glass that only had about 1/10 of it full of a beautiful crimson wine. Damian and Keith collected our dirty plates and took them into the kitchen then sat back down te' watch me take me' sip. The last time I had a drink of anything alcholic was right after Damian's injury in LA. Damian fell into a coma then as he awoke Keith, Neil, George, and I took him out to celebrate with drinks. I literaly only had one beer. I gently let the wine slip down me' throat as I remember the taste, it was amazing.  
>"That's.." I looked over at Neil "pretty amazing." Neil and I smiled at each other. Half of me' body screamed that I wanted more while the other half scream back that I didn't. Neil wrapped his hand around mine as Keith told a story about one of his surfing trips, Damian watched and idolized every word with love. We sat around that table until midnight talking and laughing with stories and conversation finally we all checked our phones at the same time. George, Neil, Emmett, Keith, and Damian's phone seemed te' go off in synch with different 's little girl and wife called him while Emmett's parents called him. Damian's parents call him te', as Keith got a call from his old buddy's back in Ireland. Neil's mother was calling him. I was the only one who wouldn't be getting this christmas, me' father didn't approve of Neil and I told him till he except Neil I wouldn't talk te' him,and as for me' mother, father called me a few monthes ago saying she had passed away and the fenural had already passed. anger filled me' head as I remember that, and I excused me'self from the table. I found me' way back te' the balcony again where I gripped the freezing metal in me' hands. We had a christmas show in a couple days here in New York, so I went over me' songs in me' head as I watched the cars rush through the snow turning it te' slush. There was a hotel bar down stairs, and nobody would notice if I left. I mentaly hit me'self as the idea appualed me. Why would I think that? I couldn't controll alchol, sad fact, but if I had even one more then I need with nobody there I might just fall off of the tower I was trying te' build up for Neil's sake. A snowflake landed on me' hand and I just watched as it melted in oblivion. I went back inside and sneak te' the room Neil and I were sharing. I slipped out of me' sweater and button down and changed into me' spare white t-shirt. I was starting te' get tired so I changed quickly and slipped into bed, Neil wouldn't be in for while so I took up as much space as I could, enjoing it. Through the walls I could hear them talking te' each of their families. I honestly was very happy that they all stayed in touch with their family, but I did kinda envy the fact I didn't have anyone to call. I slowly let me'self fall into a deep sleep with a tear in me' eye. I don't think I had a dream, but maybe I dreamed and didn't want te' remember, and the next thing I knew I was laying on me' side facing the window with the clouded light steaming over me while me' phone was playing a quiet tune telling me to get up, because I always took a short walk about this time everyday. I could feel Neil's weight behind me and at first I didn't want te' move for fear of waking him. I rolled onto me' back so I could look at him. He was laying on his side facing me with his hands under his pillow, he looked so percious and innocent. I could watch him sleep forever, but I needed to be alone right now, and I didn't want to bring Neil down, and not not on christmas day. I lightly kissed his cheek and at first Neil's body seemed to awake,but he just rolled onto his other side and kept sleepin'. I got dressed quickly into me' usual outfit (button-down, sweater,and jeans) then walked into the livingroom, Emmett was sleeping on the couch and I had to assume that everybody else went back te' their own rooms. wrapping paper was spread everywhere in thin shreds except two stacks of red and green presents that littered the table. I checked the labels and half of them were for me, while the other half were presents were for Neil. Last night when they opened presents Neil must have wanted te' wait for me, he was the sweetest person on earth, ever. I almost considered not leaving, but I silently promised Neil that I would be back before he woke up. I put me' scarf on and me' heavy wool coat and went out down te' the lobby of the hotel. On a normal circumstance I would give Damian half-an-hour to join me, but he was probably still sleeping. SO I only gave him ten minutes.<br>"I'm surprised you woke up. I honestly thought ye' were gonna sleep till noon." Damian came out of the elevator wearing winter clothes like mine and surprisingly he didn't have bags under his eyes.  
>"Yeah, I wanted te, but I need te' talk te' ye' and now is the best time." Damian looked down at the floor as he got closer te' me. I looked him over, he seemed fine physically so it probably had te' do with either Keith or parents. So I had to let him come, despite the fact I wanted to be alone. A lightly flurry of powder snow greeted us as we walked outside te' the frozen city of New York.<br>"So I told me' parents last night." Damian's voice was meeked as we passed several people. Even on christmas day New York's streets still always had people on them.  
>"And? What did they say?" I asked as a spiral of snow blew past us.<br>"umm..." Damian looked down "Mom doesn't care, dad...doesn't approve, but he says he will try te' accept it."  
>"That's great, right?"<br>"Yeah, it was me' big brother who didn't approve..." Damian frowned "I'm sure he'll come around, Damo." I lightly gripped his shoulder and released it in the same second. we rounded the first corner of the block and I realized by the time we made our way around a New York block Neil would already be awake. "Hey do ye' mind if we turn around I kinda wanted te' be back te' the hotel when Neil wakes up."  
>"Sure." Damian smiled "That reminds me. Look what Keith got me." Damian held out his wrist and I saw the insanely nice-looking watch Damo was wearing.<br>"Damn that is nice." I lightly gripped his arm so I could get a better look. "Did he get ye' anything else?" I released his arm.  
>"Keith? He also got me a teddybear." Damian smiled and for a second he looked just like a little boy.<br>"Aww how cute." I smiled. Damian looked down at his shoes as another blast of snow pelted us. After I fun little hike we finally found our way back te' the hotel and back te' out respected room. Neil was still sleeping as I hoped and quickly found me' way te' the presents. I knew that soon Damian, Keith and George were going te' come over and we were going te' have breakfest so I needed to find it. I found the box that was address te' Neil from me (it was one of three) and was about to put it in me' pocket then I realized. Where's Emmett? Nobody could know I was hiding one of Neil's presents, me' eyes scanned the room and seeing he was gone I hid it perfectly in me' coat and then hung up me' coat with the box completely out of sight. I was going te' give that present te' him later tonight when we were alone, it would save me a ton of emmbarresment. As expected there was a light tap on the door and upon opening it I saw George and Damian standing there.  
>"Can I help ye?" I asked pretending not te' know them.<br>"Yeah ye can open the door so I can come in." George was clearly in no mood for being slaged (teased) today.  
>"Damn don't be so touchy." I said letting them in. Now ye' might be wondering why they were in me' suite when they have their own with a kitchen? Well it was because mine had a dining room and theirs didn't.<br>"Sorry, just couldn't sleep." George brushed past me, and I realized one of the three from the other room was missing.  
>"Where's Keith?" I inquired as I shut the door behind Damo.<br>"He wanted te' take a shower first, and he told me te' wait over here." Damian shrugged and took off his shoes and sat on the loveseat. I made me' way to the kitchen and quickly worked on making breakfast. Over the course of me' cooking Keith decided te' join us, well more like join Damian on the love seat, and just as I was almost done Neil emerged from our bedroom. "Mornin' babe." Neil was clearly unresponsive as he mindlessly walked te' the coffee pot. I chuckled as he tried to searched for a mug, I walked up te' him and handed him one I left out for him.  
>"Mornin'." He whispered under his breath as he took the cup from me. "thanks..." He tried te' pour himself some, but when he almost poured it into the toaster I slid up behind him and gently took the pot from him. He rested against me' chest as I poured his coffee from behind him. I thought it was so cute when Neil couldn't wake up, and I would have handled it by doing something I know would wake him up, but there was witnessess so I decided against it. I gently placed a kiss te' his neck as I handed him his cup. I pulled me'self away from Neil unwillingly, but I didn't want breakfast te' be ruined. Neil took his spot at the table along with Keith and Damian.<br>"Where's Emmett?" I asked as I sat down with George.  
>"This mornin'...Emmett said somethin' 'bout hotel bar..." Neil answered bearly opening his eyes. I chuckled at his adorableness.<br>"I'll go get him after breakfast." I said as Damian laughed about something Keith said. Breakfast ended way sooner then I would have thought possible, and as I put the last dish into the sink I remember I had te' go get Emmett.  
>"Ryan..." Neil whispered as I was about te' leave. "Yeah, babe." I walked over te' where he sat on the couch and kissed the top of his head.<br>"Emmett might be...drinking..." Neil said looking up at me with tired eyes.  
>"Don't worry. I won't drink anything,I promise." He smiled and closed his eyes as he rested against a pillow. George was talking te' somebody on his phone while standing on the balcony. Damian and Keith claimed the love seat, again. I left me' four best friends and went down te' the hotel bar te' find me' fifth, with a very un-eventfull elevator ride with a little old man who looked like he skinned dinosaurs for fun when he turned thirty. I found Emmett sitting at the corner near the doot staring at his drink in hand.<br>"Ye' alright?" I sat next te' him since there was only us and the bartender here.  
>"Cameron told me he loved me..." Emmett said finding the bottom of his glass interesting.<br>"and?" I was hontesly confused. I thought they were together.  
>"I don't know what I feel...and I know you don't believe it, but I never was with Cameron." Emmett empty his glass into his mouth then ordered another.<br>"Okay, dude I think ye' need te' stop drinkin' alone and get back upstairs. George will-" I started but Emmett interupted "Ryan, I know ye' are sober and what not, but please drink one drink with me?" Emmett's eyes were pleading, and I knew what I needed te' say.  
>"Only ONE!" I emphazed as I ordered the same drink as him. We tipped our glasses together and we both drink them quickly. The liquid burned in me' throat with the best feeling in the world, one more wouldn't hurt right? That would be the worst mistake I would ever make.<p>

One drink turned te' two then te' three and progressivly got higher as two hours passed us, and by the fourth hour Emmett and I were really tipsy. Finally the bartender had enough of dealing with us and stopped serving us. With stumbling feet we tried te' find our way te' the elevator. I knew I would have te' deal with Neil and I realized how much I screwed up, but I was tee' drunk te' really care. As we got te' our floor Emmett and I were tripping into each other.  
>"Ye'know!" I said with a little tee' much volume. "ye'don'teven needCameron." I shruged as I tipped into a wall.<br>"Iwouldagreebut, I'minlovewith himand I know he'sadude and whateverbut." Emmett's words were slured worst then mine.  
>"Thenye' needte' gobackte' LAandkiss him." I ordered trying te' open the door. "Idon'tknowhow." Emmett admitted as I knocked beause I couldn't get the door open.<br>"Willye' showme?"  
>"No!nononoi'm withNeil." I defended pounding on the door a bit more.<br>"Hedoesn't havetoknow."Emmett pointed out.  
>"no."I shook me' head and turned te' face Emmett and before I could react I was pressed against the wall with someone's lips (who wasn't Neil) pressed against mine. I was sober enough te' try and push him off,but he was a strong guy and kept me pinned.<br>"Ryan?" I could here Neil's voice floating from past the door as the doorknob was turned, and the door was pushed I realized I fucked up!


	2. Part 2

(This chapter is written from Neil's point of view.)

I was staring outside the window looking over the city of New York while snow poured out of the clouds, and as it landed on buildings it tinted the world in white. I looked back over me' shoulder at Ryan who was still passed out on our bed both anger and fear gripped me' mind and spirit while I replayed what just happened...  
>As soon as I had opened the door te' the hall I saw Emmett kissing me' boyfriend then he turned in panic, Ryan opened his mouth to talk but the he was pulled under by the alcohol. I probably would have killed Emmett if Ryan hadn't collapsed behind him. I was about te' pick Ryan up when George, Keith, and Damian came te' see what had happended.<br>"What happened?" George asked as he saw Emmett stumble against a wall.  
>"Ryan, and Emmett got drunk." I said as I pulled Ryan up into me' arms from the floor and turned te' face them. George and Damian were shocked te' see that I could carry Ryan, as I slid pass them with Ryan in me' arms. Keith wasn't surprised because normaly when Ryan and Damian would go run for a long time Declan, Keith and I would go work out.",and Emmett kissed Ryan." I threw the statement over me' shoulder as I went inside the suite with me' passed out boyfriend in me' arms...<br>I turned back te' face the window as I didn't know what te' do. I wanted te' talk to Ryan, but the combination of the alcohol and stress made him pass out, and I wanted te' talk te' Emmett, well..beat the crap out of him is the better word, but I also needed te' talk te' him. I looked over at Ryan one last time before I went te' the door of our room. I quietly opened the door and slippd out of the room, te' see Damian sitting on the couch out of sight of the dining room.  
>"Where's everybody?" I asked with a soft voice and Damian looked up from the tv that was on very low volume.<br>"They're trying to sober him up." Damian said looking over his shoulder toward the direction of the dining room. Keith obviously made Damian wait in the livingroom as they tried te' talk te' him. I was greeted by the sight of Emmett with his head down with an empty coffee mug next te' him with George and Keith on each side. Keith looked up and saw me leaning against the door frame and got up te' get Emmett more coffee. Emmett looked up at me with eyes wet with tears, he was still te' drunk te' actual form a coherint sentence I could understand. I just shook me' head and turned back around. I didn't know what te' do. I felt so helpless. It was christmas day and I had te' wait for either Ryan or Emmett te' sober up in order te' understand what I saw. It was kinda sad really. I didn't really now what te' do with me'self as I waited so I ended up back in me' bedroom with the passed out Ryan sleeping on the bed in front of me. I was leaning against the wall underneath the windowsill with me' head resting against me' knees which were pulled up te' me' chest. Honestly I wasn't angry at Ryan or Emmett, I was just scared. I took a deep breath and forced me'self te' relive the nightmare of a memory that still would sometimes haunt me' dreams...  
>It was the night after our first concert and I had te' tell him. I had te' tell him what I was feeling. Ryan was raise a faithful catholic boy, but I had te' tell him I was in love with him or else this feeling would eat me alive. Since it was right after a concert I still had me' kilt and button down on, and I did consider changing first, but I needed te' talk te' him now. Deep down I had hoped that he had went out with George te' get drinks as I approached the room I knew he should be in. Fear gripped me as me' knuckles lightly tapped the door, and because someone forgot te' shut the door all the way it lightly swung open. I could see me' shadow cast itself across the front of the room. It was dark and only the light in the bathroom showed any signs of life. I was about te' close the door and leave then I heard a clang of glass lightly rap against tile.<br>"Ryan?" I whispered as I walked in and shut the door behind me. The whole scene felt like a horror movie. As I slowly approached the light of the bathroom time slowed down till both time and I were completely frozen. Ryan was sitting against the small wall of the bath tub with at least a dozen empty bottles surronding him, and a thin black pistol pressed into the middle of his forehead. His eyes slowly lifted up te' look into mine as nothing else about either of us moved. Me' knees turned te' complete water and were only holding themselves up by me' fear of moving.I couldn't hear a clock keep time but I heard me' breath as me' heart beats drummed out each second.  
>Tears drowned Ryan's eyes and spilled out as he cried out "I can't do it." He threw the gun te' the corner of the room as he began sobbing into his hands. I collapsed te' me' knees in front of him onto the cold floor and I hugged him tightly. I couldn't talk because me' throat was still gripped with panic and fear, causing me to tighten me' arms around him.<br>"Why can't I be normal?" Ryan's voice was cut by sobs and slurs.I needed te' say something, but nothing I thought of sounded good te' me so I just let me' heart talk.  
>"Your perfect Ryan, just the way you are, dont ever let anyone tell you different, your perfect Ryan-" Tears streamed down me' face and into his hair with our arms around eachother a sob choked me' sentence into sat there on that cold floor for the better part of an hour both of us holding onto each other. If I hadn't just seen the gun to his head, I would have been over joyed with the fact he was holding me.<br>"Thank you Neil." Ryan said, his head still buried into me' shirt. He finally pulled up and I saw his crystal blue eyes that were completely clear of all pain and alcohol, for now...  
>I forced me'self te' pull me'self back te' reality and saw the room was drenched in a darkness that covered eveything. Ryan's light snore told me he was still asleep, and alive. The image of Ryan and that gun burned deep into me' mind as the worst moment of me' life, because I almost saw the love of me' life take his life away in front of me. A extremely light knock echo'd on the wood of the door. I pulled me'self up from off the floor and dried me' eyes while I found me' way through the dark. I opened the door enough so that I could see Damian standing on the other side.<br>"Keith made some food." Damian's voice was quiet as he tried te' read me. "Emmett and George aren't here." I opened me' mouth te' refuse, but Damian presisted. "Come on ye' need te' eat something." His voice had a strange tone of demanding te' it. In moment like this ye' could really tell that Damian had grown up since his accident in LA. I nodded slowly and relectantly left the room. All three of us ate in silence with only low whispers between Damian and Keith. As soon as all three of our plates were clean I quietly and quickly collected them all and took them te' them te' the kitchen. I turn on the water and mindlessly washed the dishes and cups from both today and last night. Keith and Damian watched me for a little while, then slowly, both of them drifted te' the livingroom. The front door opened and closed and I knew who had walked in. I could hear Keith and George trying convicing Emmett not te' try and talk te' me.  
>"Neil?" Emmett clearly got past them and I could feel enter the kitchen with Keith and George right behind him. "Neil, I'm sorry I didn't mean te' kiss him I was just confused and he was just there. He told me no and I didn't listen. I'm sorry." Emmett was standing at the arch-way as I slowly turned around te' see him. His eyes were still grogy and he was clearly suffering from his hangover as he avoided looking into the light. Emmett and I watched each other carefully as Keith and George watched us with worried looks. "Neil please forgive me?" Emmett bowed his head with true sorrow in his eyes.<br>"Why did ye' kiss him?" I asked and Keith and George shared shocked looks.  
>"umm..." Emmett was nervous and his face blushed as he looked down at his feet. "This morning I got a text from Cameron. He told me that he was in love with me, and opposed to popular belief I am haven't ever been with Cameron. So I went down te' the bar for a drink, or two." Emmett took a second te' adjust himself against the frame of the door as George went into the livingroom and Damian sat at the table with Keith, all three of them were still in earshot of us. "Then Ryan came down and I begged him te' have one drink with me, and when he tried te' leave I forced him te' drink when we got back te' this floor he told me that if I felt anything for Cameron then I should go back te' LA and tell him." He pulled his eyes from the floor and met me' eyes with truth and sadness. "And then I just..."<br>"Thank you Emmett." I whispered as I pulled him into a light hug which he tighten after his shock. "I'm not mad at ye', but don't let it happen again. Okay?"  
>"I won't. I promise. Thank ye' Neil I'm so sorry." He kept hugging me tightly as I just chuckled lightly.<br>"Next time tell us and we will go with ye." Keith walked into the kitchen with Damian's hand craddled in side of his. "Then we can save things like this from happening." Keith stood next te' Emmett as Damian went te' the other side of the kitchen where I was.  
>"Yeah, I will." Emmett chuckled as we broke apart and we turned te' see Damian getting a cup up from the cupboard. "Hey Keith whatcha' looking at?" Emmett's question was retorical as he chuckled in a deep throaty laugh and it was very obvious what Keith was lookin at.<br>"Stop starin' Keith." Damian responded with out ever looking back as he got some water from the tap. Apparently Damian had gotten use te' the fact that Keith was looking at his ass every chance he got. "Aww, but babe..." Keith slid up behind Damian and lightly wrapped his arms around him. I walked away from them with Emmett on me' heels as Damian leaned his head back against Keith's shoulder. As we walked into the livingroom we saw George spread out across the couch with his phone resting on his lap. Emmett took a seat on the love seat as I leaned against the door of me' bedroom. George had put on some documentary about frogs te' keep him occupied and I was shocked te' see something not christmasy on. Especially since today was christmas. I looked at the twin stacks of presents in the corner of the room which contained both Ryan and me's presents. Ryan. I needed te' check on him. The audio on the tv was quiet enough that I didn't think he would wake if I opened the door. George took a quick glance at me and turned back te' Emmett who had his face buried in a pillow in front of him. I silently opened the door as little as possible so that I could slide me'self inside. The room was dark as Ryan's snore was low in a steady pattern that comforted me slightly, it always made me feel better when I knew he was breathing. I sat on the edge of the bed next te' Ryan, who had rolled onto his side to face the window. His face seemed peaceful and still as the clouded moonlight and the city lights below shined dimmly on him. I always did ove te' watch Ryan sleep but normaly I never got a chance because he always waited till I fell asleep before he did. Another wave of sadness and worry washed me over as I realized Ryan was passed out next te' me on the bed. What if Ryan didn't come back up with Emmett? What if Ryan thought about his dead mom as he kept drinking? The worst scenarioes played in me' head as the image of Ryan with that gun all those years ago burned itself over and over again into me' memory. I knew Ryan didn't cheat on me. I heard him telling Emmett no before I opened the door. I wasn't even mad that he drank a little bit. I was just so scared, what if Ryan had fell into a depression while he was drunk? What if he went off and... I didn't want te' think of all the things I knew Ryan could do if he was depressed enough. I gingerly ran me' fingers through Ryan's hair as tears well up in me' eyes. He was the love of me' life, I knew that ,and I could never image me' life without him thought of loosing him was the worst thing I coud ever fathom. I couldn't help feel this sense of relief that Ryan came back, even though that he was drunk. His hair was soft and bristly as me' fingers found their way te' the back of Ryan's head then started again. A tear trailed itself down me' cheek as those beautiful dark brown eyes slowly and lightly flutter opened. Ryan eyes had a shade of brown that if you glanced at them you would think he had no form of humanity, but the longer you stare into their dark brown, almost black shade of color, the more you saw the innocence the world had force under the dark parts of his personality and past. That innocence was part of the reason I was in love with him. "Neil?" Neil i'm so sorry, I-" Ryan was frantic as he leaned up, but he was pushed back down as I threw me' arms around him. "-Neil are you crying?"  
>"I was so worried." I grabbed the back of his shirt as I whimpered against his shoulder.<br>"Neil, I'm so sorry." He returned the hug with equal force. I normaly would have been ashamed because I hated crying in front of people especially if that person was Ryan. I wasn't even completely sure why I was crying then as me' tears slowed then stopped I let go of Ryan a little bit and pulled back te' look at his face. "I'm not letting ye' go get another friend from a bar." I chuckled lightly as Ryan's face was covered in confusion. Ryan's hand was gentle as he dried the tears off me' face. "Does that mean ye'r not mad?" Ryan was a little hopeful but still guilt was obvious on his face.  
>"No i'm mad ye' lied te' me and still drank." the dark seemed te' lighten as me' eyes adjusted with the clouded light. I looked over te' the window where the snow swirled and danced across the glass. "Do ye' remember that night I found ye' after the concert?" The question was vauge but he knew what I meant.<br>"Of course I do. That was the night ye' saved me from me'self. I actual used that event when I talked te' Damo about getting with Keith. I took out the part out about the gun though-"  
>"I hated that night." I looked down at his sweater as I leaned me' head into his hand.<br>"I did te', but there was one thing I like about it." His voice was calm but thoughtful as a very small smile crossed me' lips as I slowly close me' eyes, enjoying the fact Ryan was awake..  
>"What?" I asked knowing the question all te' well, but I wanted te' hear him say it.<br>"Ye' know." His voice was low. "I know ye' do."  
>"but I think I want te' hear ye' say it." I smiled down at him as I pushed him back onto his back.<br>"That was the first night I kissed ye'." Ryan said very matter of fact as I gently pressed me' lips to his. He kissed me back instantly as I gently locked me' fingers in his hair. "What's wrong?" He asked me, confused as hell. The alcohol was still on his breath, and it was strong.  
>"Ye' need te' brush ye' teeth."<p> 


	3. Part 3

"What?" Damian was deeply confused as he stared at me as if I just grew a chicken out of the ground with magic. "Ye'r sure about this?" I nodded surely, as we rounded another corner. A woman with two bags full of stuff pushed passed me as a man ran past Damo nearly hiting him.  
>"I am. After I got drunk Neil forgave me,for some reason, and proved that I need te' do this. So, Damo, will you please help me?" Two weeks ago I made a mistake a drank a little te' much and got an interesting little smacker on the lips from Emmett, which for some reason Neil forgave. A street lamp turned red, and Damian and I hurried across the street as a small group of people parted around us.<br>"Do ye' know where you'll..." Damo trailed off, I could tell he didn't know what te' think.  
>"Not yet, I wantd Neil te' help with that part." I looked over at Damo, and lightly pulled him over te' an area on the sidewalk where we would be out of the way. "Damo, if this bothers ye' I won't force ye' te' help me and I won't judge ye'." I lightly gripped his shoulder and he look at me.<br>"No, Ryan I want te' help and if this is truely what ye' want then I will help ye' 100%." He smiled and I gently hugged him noticing how much like Keith he smelled.  
>"Thank ye' Damo." I pulled one of me' arms from around him but left the other around his shoulder as we contuined te' walk back te' the hotel. Another woman with a child almost knocked me over.<br>"What exactly are ye' gonna need me' help with?" Damian asked as he tried te' fix his hair, but the wind had a different idea. Recently Damo had grown his hair out and if ye' asked me I think he is styling it te' look like Keith's ,but if ye' asked him he would just blush and shrug off the question.  
>"Not sure yet, but it needs te' be perfect." Damo thought for a minute as our hotel came into sight.<br>"Who else knows?" "Just ye', I was hoping not te' tell a whole lot of people, but I did need some help. Please don't go telling everybody I don't what Neil will do..."  
>"Not even Keith?" Damo's voice was meek and I released him from under me' arm and chuckled lightly. Damian's devotion te' Keith was commendable and cute.<br>"Fine, ye' can tell Keith ,but nobody else." I smiled as we reached the door of the hotel. I loved how much Keith and Damian were in love, it defintely mad me feel better about the years of slaggin' Keith had te' endure from me. As we got back te' the main room, Keith greeted Damo and I with a big smile.  
>"Glad ye' guys are back, once Neil gets out of the shower and Emmett gets back from the store we are gonna get te' the studio and practice a litte." George smiled as he looked up from the tv, with Keith sitting all by himself on the love seat. Damian corrected that problem by sitting on the blonde surfer's lap and demanded his attention. Neil was in the shower? An evil smiled crossed me' lips as I slipped into the bedroom when George wasn't paying attention. Lucky for me that the shower Neil was using was in the bathroom that connected te' our bedroom. I knew once George noticed I wasn't there he would come and bash down the door and drag me out of the shower by me' teeth so I quickly took off the layers of me' clothes and left them laying on the floor by the bed. I opened te' the door te' the bathroom and steam lightly covered me as I tried as hard as I could not to make a sound while I slipped into the room. I saw Neil's clothed lounged out across the floor with a white towel sitting on the sink. The shower's curtin was a frosty white so he probably wouldn't see me even if he was paying attention. Neil never dealt well with the mornings so he almost jumped out of his skin as I snuck into the shower and lightly wrapped me' arms around him.<br>"Good morning, babe'." I chuckled lightly whispering in his ear.  
>"Dear god, ye' scared me."<br>"I can tell." I laughed lowly then gently kissed his neck. He took a deep breath and relaxed against me as I gently kissed his neck again and again in a steady pattern.  
>"Ryan, stop, George will kill us if we take to long. I was actualy about te' get out a second ago." Neil had a good point, George was very strict about when we were suppose te' get te' the studio.<br>"Don't worry about George, babe." I whispered as I gently bit his ear. His hair had the scent of peppermint as did his skin, it was the best taste in the world. He took another deep breath then lightly moaned out. He turned around in me' arms so he was facing me,he kissed me softly and I intensified it instantly by pushing me' tongue into his mouth. Neil's hands found their way up te' me' hair and began gently running through with the lightest tug while me' hands kept wrapped around him tightly. I didn't want te' let him go.  
>"Ryan, I love ye'." Neil said breathfully as we stopped for a minute te' catch our breath.<br>"I love ye' more." I said as one of his hands rested against me' cheek. He smiled a sweet smile at me, and I was reminded of me' plan that Damian was gonna help me with. I placed a sweet and gentle kiss on his lips one more time then reached past him for the soap. The ironic thing was that I actualy did want te' wash up a little before we left so George would have te' wait another minute. Neil took the bottle from me' hand and before I could get it back Neil gently whispered.  
>"Let me do it. You haven't let me since..." He thought about it for a minute. "Since we took that vacation te' spain." We both smiled at the memories then I just gave up with a roll of me' eyes. He smiled as his eyes sparkled with happiness, that was one of me' favorite things in the world, cliche as it is I absolutely loved te' see him so happy. After he soaped up his hands with his peppermint shampoo he gently ran them through me' hair, I closed me' eyes and just felt him mess with me' hair. I always like te' think that I was the one in the relationship who was always the strong one, but when Neil treated me like his baby I couldn't help but love it. His hands ghosted through me' hair softer then angel hands and it made me feel relaxed almost instantly. I opened me' eyes when he lightly pushed on me' chest so I would go under the water, but I closed me' eyes again when Neil's angel hands were washing out the soap. Once he was done he gently kissed me' lips sweetly and just as I was about te' kiss him back a large bang on the door shatter this little piece of heaven I was enjoing.<br>"YE' GUYS NEED TE' HURRY UP I AM NOT GONNA BE LATE BECAUSE YE' TWO WERE FUCKIN' AROUND." George was clearly a little irritated with the fact I was in here with Neil. George was always very opened and fine with gay guys, clearly because most of the guys in Celtic thunder were gay, but we did get on his nerves if our relationships interfered with practices. His angered voice was a serious turn off.  
>"Be out in a second!" Neil called back with a laugh. I rolled me' eyes and kissed Neil one last time before we got out. Neil got out quickly as I took me' time and shut off the water. Even since Damian's fall in the bathroom I have been very cautious when water was involved. Neil dried off and I couldn't help but watch because he was just beautiful. Not that his body was perfect (and trust me neither is mine) ,but there is just something perfect about him anyway. "Ye'r such a creeper." Neil said as he noticed I was watching him.<br>"Just a little, and only for ye' babe'." I laughed as I stepped out of the shower next te' him. "Can I use ye'r towel? I forgot mine."  
>"Sure." Neil smiled and handed me his towel as he carefully pulled on his boxers.<br>"Ye'r beautiful. Ye' know that right?" I asked as I quickly dried off.  
>"Only ye' think so." Neil said trying te' deny it as he pulled on a pair of jeans.<br>"Yeah." I agree'd. "If anyone else thought that, I might just have te' kill them." Neil laughed as he pulled on his t-shirt. He opend the door te' the bathroom and a cold breeze rushed in as the steam rushed out, sending a chill across me' body. I wrapped the towel around me' waist and followed him out into our room.  
>"Finally, we thought ye' two drowned." Damian snickered at Keith's comment as Neil and I finally came out of room both me and him fully dressed. Damian decided te' get off Keith and sat next te' him with his hand laced through Keith's. Emmett te' had joined the group and was lounging on the couch, George wasn't any where te' be seen so we assumed that he went into the kitchen. I pulled me' coat off of the coat rack and as I pulled it on I could feel the one christmas present I didn't give te' Neil sitting in the inside pocket. -<br>The sun had set over New York when we were still in the theater. I only was half-way paying attention te' when George or anybody gave me constructive comments. I was insanely distracted,because I knew I needed te' do it. I'm pretty sure Damian caught on te' it, because when I was sitting in the empty audience chairs watching Keith practice 'The Dutchman' he came over and sat with me.  
>"Where's Neil?" He asked as Keith sang.<br>"Backstage, practicing his guitar."  
>"Do you know when ye'r gonna-"<br>"No." I interupted him "I'm actual thinking about that right now, because it has te' be perfect."  
>"It won't matter." Damian said reclining his his seat and I looked back at him with shocked eyes. "No matter when or how ye' do it, te' him, it will be perfect." Damian chuckled and lightly tusseled his hair.<br>"Ye' really think so?" I asked "Trust me." He smiled as his blue eyes found mine and there was no hint of irony or sarcasism.  
>"Thank ye' Damo."<br>"Anything for ye' Ryie-woo." He teased as he laughed. I lightly hit his arm as I reclined in me' chair te' match him and finished watching Keith's proformance.  
>"How did that sound guys?" Keith asked through the microphone, standing on the edge of the stage. Damian smiled and started clapping.<br>"Little pitchy!" I shouted so he could hear me. He just smiled and rolled his eyes.  
>"By the way, it's snowing outside." Damian said as he got up and walked away from me. Me' eyes followed as he got onto the stage and followed Keith back into the wings. A part of me knew that Damian was right, but the idea of actualy going through with it made me really was snowing outside. Why did Damian tell me that? I slowly got te' me' feet and made me' way out of row of chairs te' the isle. Neil loved the snow. And with that thought what Damian said snapped into place as I realized what I wanted te' do. I checked me' phone and saw that if George was true te' his word we should be leaving soon, but the concert was this friday (It was only wednesday so we still had a couple days) so I couldn't count on that. I walked back stage te' see Emmett trying te' keep Keith's hat away from him but was unsecsussful because Keith had a very helpfull boyfriend. Once Damian swiped the hat I was very shocked te' see Damian run onto the stage with it and Keith gave way te' chase. Emmett laughed and once he regan his composure he looked up at me.<br>"Hey." He said a little bit of light fading quickly from his eyes. Things had stayed a little weird between me and him ever since he kissed me.  
>"Hey Emmett." I said looking around the various crew who were messing with the lights and pther things. "Hey ye' seen Neil I kinda need te' talk te' him."<br>"He's just went te' go get somethin' out of the van." He said motioning toward the back door.  
>"Thanks Emmett." I said walking past him giving him a reassuring squeeze on the shoulder just te' make sure he wasn't worried I was mad or anything. The cold air swirled aroound and consumed me as I got into the snow covered parking lot, I could see Neil bent into the open door of the van searching for something.<br>"Whatcha' lookin' for babe'?" I asked as I walked up te' the van and leaned on the open door.  
>"Me' knitted cap. I thought I left it here." He did another check under the seats and I chuckled lightly. I silently and quickly reached into me' coat's inside pocket. I swiped it off the seat right before I got out just in case Neil wanted it while we were inside, and as me' fingers closed around the fabric of the hat a could feel the box screaming 'I'm still in here!'. 'Don't worry I know...' I responded in me' head as I pulled out his hat and gently pulled it over his head, making sure te' cover his ears. He smiled sweetly.<br>"Thanks." He said as he looked up at me, his eyes reflected the light light from street lamps as his skin pinked with the chill of the snow.  
>"Com'on walk with me." I said taking off me' scarf and lightly wrapped it around his neck.<br>"What about George?"  
>"Like I said this morning, babe don't worry about George." I smiled as I shut the van door around his and he smiled again.<br>"Okay." He looked at the studio then looped his arm through mine. In all honesty I wasn't completely sure where we were going I just knew that there was a park around here and thats where I wanted te' go. " I love the snow." He whispered as he leaned a bit closer te' me.  
>"I know ye' do." I wasn't sure what te' say, well, I knew what I wanted te' say but the moment needed te' be perfect.<br>"Are ye' still mad at me for what happended with Emmett?" I figured this topic should probably be taken care of before anything else.  
>"Is that what ye've been thinking about all day?" Neil asked lightly picking up his head te' look at me. Damn, so apparently Neil did notice I was thinking about something.<br>"Kinda." It wasn't a complete lie, but I still felt a little bad about it.  
>"No, I'm not mad. Ye' were just helping a friend and drank te' much when ye' said ye' wouldn't-" He shrugged "-Thats not the worst thing ye' could do, because I know ye' didn't want te' kiss Emmett." His understanding completely surprised me. ",And Emmett didn't mean te' kiss ye' either he was just drunk."<br>"I love ye'." I couldn't help but say as he seemed te' glow like an angel sent from heaven. Neil smiled up at me and I couldn't help but smile back the press a sweet quick kiss te' his lips. For us being in New York city, the whole world seemed quiet and very few people littering the streets creating a peacefully atmosphere as the snow painted the city the best it could in a flawless white. Neil and I fell into a soundless, but loving silence as we contuined te' walk and soon I found the park I was looking for and Neil clung te' me' arms as his hand was interlaced with wasn't until we found a bridge over a frozen pond that we stopped te' admire the beauty of the snow or the park. 'Don't do this ye' are gonna screw it up ye' know that right?' an annoying voice in me' head said as Neil and I both leaned against the rail of the bridge. 'Shut up!' I shouted mentaly back at the voice. I looked over at Neil and his eyes seemed te' be tracing shapes in the snow below in the ice.  
>"That wasn't the only thing I have been thinking about.." Neil knew what I meant and he tried his head te' face me. His face was only lit by the light of a frozen lamp post on the other side of the ice, but even in the dark he was beautiful. "Are ye' gonna tell me what else ye' were thinkin' off?"<br>"Well, I'm not really sure how..." I trailed off and me' heartbeat sounding like a cannon in me' ear as I felt me' inside shake with nerves. He looked over te' me and angled his body toward mine 'Com'on ye' coward, ye' have preformed in front of millions of people' both the little voice in me' head and the box in me' pocket screamed. I looked down at me' shoes and noticed they were untied so I knelt down and dropped the strings as I tried to tie me' shoes without letting me' hands shake. The snow was cold against me' left leg as it was pressing into the concerete as I knelt te' tie me' right shoe.  
>"I forgot one of ye'r christmas..." I didn't bothering getting back up as I retied me' shoes twice te' make sure it wouldn't come undone again. "Well, I forgot ye'r present and a question." Neil was all kinds of confused, I could see it in his eyes. He opened his mouth te' talk but I stopped him. "This was ye'r present." Me' hands were shaking worse then hell as I pulled the small box out of me' coat. The white snowflakes fell against the black satin and shown brightly as they melt into oblivion. I opened the box toward him te' show him the thick silver ring that held a large ruby in the center of it. "Neil Byrne-" me' mouth was insanely dry as I tried te' swallow. "Will ye' marry me?"The snow seemed te' fall in slow motion as Neil was cleary taken by surprise. "Say yes. Please?" I begged.<p>

**This is the last par tof this story but don't worry you will find out what Neil said soon because I have decided I'm turning these Celtic thunder stories into a saga of six stories-**


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